I have never considered myself an Oprah fan...not until season 24. When my bestie, Katie, told me she had the 20th anniversary DVD set..I knew I had to watch the entire thing. And I did. In 24 hours. Yes, I have no life. While watching all six of those DVDs I've never cried so much or had so many "a-ha moments."
I don't consider myself old and wise (hell...I just turned 25!) but I'm not young and naive either. I do know a thing or two though. Oprah often asks "what do you know for sure?" I know for sure who my real friends are. There's a difference between an acquaintance and a friend...but there is a huge difference between a friend and a real friend.
I am tired of saying to myself "well...I guess I know who my real friends are." It always happens when "friends" do something that disappoints me or angers me. Fake friends are the worst.
A toxic friend is someone who constantly sends bad vibes. They treat you like shit. I once had a friend (from third grade through senior year of COLLEGE!) who treated me awful. We used the term "best friends" but I honestly didn't consider her my best friend for a long time...our friendship had become habit. She put down me down because of my college and a lot of my beliefs and opinions. I caught her talking shit about me before I got married, that's when I decided to cut all ties. I called her out on it, but for some reason she was shocked when she wasn't invited to the wedding.
Another awful friend was also the reason why I moved to North Carolina in the first place. I think she wanted me to be her bitch. But when I came to North Carolina with my own plans and soon made my own friends...she became cold and angry. And told me (in a nutshell) that Danny was the worst decision of my life. I remember after Danny proposed she actually pretended that she was happy for me. The fakeness of it was awful. A month later I moved myself out of that house (and paid a huge amount of money to pretty much end our friendship) and have never regretted any part of it.
Once again I have found toxic friends. And I'm sure all of you have a friend like this. I hate hate hate people who have a friend and then talk nothing but shit about them. You know that they are doing the same exact thing to you. I know that when you are complaining about someone, you want my reaction....only to go tell that person how awful I am. And-I-am-sick-of-it.
I never thought 19-20-21 was young. But looking back to my college years...I was young. I know I did the same things. But now that I am just a little older..I don't want those people in my life. I can honestly say I have one friend from my hometown. Two of my closest friends are from college. And I have a handful of girls down here that I consider real friends. And let me just put it this way..I am so thankful that I have my own friends...Danny's co-workers and their wives having totally irritated me in the past few months and weeks. And I am just realizing how young they really are.
I have decided to eliminate all of the toxic energy out of my life. It is exhausting. I have aired more "dirty laundry" on this blog in the past week...I hate showing that I'm mad/angry/hurt/sad but it makes me feel better to write about it. But the good news is...since I'm eliminating toxic energy you'll only be getting happy posts from now on!
Friday, December 3, 2010
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