Friday, December 3, 2010

Toxic Friends

I have never considered myself an Oprah fan...not until season 24. When my bestie, Katie, told me she had the 20th anniversary DVD set..I knew I had to watch the entire thing. And I did. In 24 hours. Yes, I have no life. While watching all six of those DVDs I've never cried so much or had so many "a-ha moments."

I don't consider myself old and wise (hell...I just turned 25!) but I'm not young and naive either. I do know a thing or two though. Oprah often asks "what do you know for sure?" I know for sure who my real friends are. There's a difference between an acquaintance and a friend...but there is a huge difference between a friend and a real friend.

I am tired of saying to myself "well...I guess I know who my real friends are." It always happens when "friends" do something that disappoints me or angers me. Fake friends are the worst.

A toxic friend is someone who constantly sends bad vibes. They treat you like shit. I once had a friend (from third grade through senior year of COLLEGE!) who treated me awful. We used the term "best friends" but I honestly didn't consider her my best friend for a long time...our friendship had become habit. She put down me down because of my college and a lot of my beliefs and opinions. I caught her talking shit about me before I got married, that's when I decided to cut all ties. I called her out on it, but for some reason she was shocked when she wasn't invited to the wedding.

Another awful friend was also the reason why I moved to North Carolina in the first place. I think she wanted me to be her bitch. But when I came to North Carolina with my own plans and soon made my own friends...she became cold and angry. And told me (in a nutshell) that Danny was the worst decision of my life. I remember after Danny proposed she actually pretended that she was happy for me. The fakeness of it was awful. A month later I moved myself out of that house (and paid a huge amount of money to pretty much end our friendship) and have never regretted any part of it.

Once again I have found toxic friends. And I'm sure all of you have a friend like this. I hate hate hate people who have a friend and then talk nothing but shit about them. You know that they are doing the same exact thing to you. I know that when you are complaining about someone, you want my reaction....only to go tell that person how awful I am. And-I-am-sick-of-it.

I never thought 19-20-21 was young. But looking back to my college years...I was young. I know I did the same things. But now that I am just a little older..I don't want those people in my life. I can honestly say I have one friend from my hometown. Two of my closest friends are from college. And I have a handful of girls down here that I consider real friends. And let me just put it this way..I am so thankful that I have my own friends...Danny's co-workers and their wives having totally irritated me in the past few months and weeks. And I am just realizing how young they really are.

I have decided to eliminate all of the toxic energy out of my life. It is exhausting. I have aired more "dirty laundry" on this blog in the past week...I hate showing that I'm mad/angry/hurt/sad but it makes me feel better to write about it. But the good news is...since I'm eliminating toxic energy you'll only be getting happy posts from now on!

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