Worst Day Ever.

I had great plans for today. I even made a to-do list...watch a movie, take Miley for a few short walks, clean, redecorate, bake...all sorts of great stuff.

Instead...this happened.

Miley was staring at the door, lovely..a cockroach. We chased it together and killed it. Then, five minutes later she was sniffing around in the kitchen. Miley being Miley. Or so I thought. There were maggots in my kitchen. Seriously? I have the cleanest house ever, where the fuck where they coming from. There were like ten of them, I killed them. Cleaned the floor, brought trash outside. Freaked out. Mom told me to move all trash away from the apartment...they were coming in from outside! They were gone within ten minutes, but I'm still freaking out, walking with my head down, napkin in hand...ready to attack.

I was all worked up, so I brought Miley for a walk...hoping it would help me unwind. Instead, whoever brought their dog for a walk within the past 24 hours hasn't cleaned the shit out of the yards. Seriously, it looks like a herd of cows were in the neighborhood. I've never seen such large piles of shit in my entire life.

Miley has been in one of those moods today. She is a very acrobatic dog. She somehow jumped into the sink and took the drainer stopper out. I thought that was the beginning and the end of her pain-in-the-ass-antics for the day. Yea....wishful thinking.

A few hours passed before the next major catastrophe. Miley ate dinner and started whining at the backdoor. I open the door to get her leash and something falls on my head. A friggin cockroach. It jumped off my  head, ran, me and Miley tried killing it...and then it disappeared. INTO THIN AIR. I have no idea where it went!

Keep in mind...these last few things happened while I was typing the subject to this post. Miley decided she needed to make a phone call, stole my Blackberry off the table...and chewed the back of it. I got it back, she jumped on the table..knocked over water, ran around with scissors, and is being a major pain in my ass.

 Oh, I'm so excited that it's not even 5PM yet. I have the rest of the night to go insane and find more bugs. I'm currently thanking God that Mom and Nana left behind so many alcohol drinks.