Issues and Stress

Sometimes I have this issue where I can't even talk about what's bothering me. I let things build and build until it just depresses me or makes me mad. Believe me, I wish this didn't happen. And I know I shouldn't hold things in...but I can't help it. Sometimes I wonder if I'm in over my head, if I won't be able to handle certain things. It's been keeping me up at night, I have weird dreams, and am constantly wondering if I can handle it. For the past week I've felt that I was on the brink of tears. Even when asked "what's wrong?" I just say nothing. But then when I try to bring the topic up, I drop it as soon as he answers my little questions. I know I should just talk about it instead of dwelling on it. Maybe it's not even this one thing, its just many small things building. I'm stressed out by so many things right now, from dealing with my roommates, to basically loosing over $900, and just so many other things.

I have been in relationships before, but never ones with guys who had a past. Maybe that's what I can't handle. Maybe it's that I think he's more experienced, or other things about his past. Maybe it's because I talk about my past (or lack-thereof) and think it's weird that he doesn't. I honestly don't know.

I feel like these are things that shouldn't bother me but can't help the fact that they do.

And I hate that my past few entries have been me complaining and being depressing. I think I need some new hobbies to keep my mind busy.